Personal Hits #10

The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

My thoughts on the 2024 Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, may delete later:

I write this knowing full well there’s a chance that this highly commercial explosion of American Joy runs a chance of being “too gay” in our coming years. The eyes of some of our citizens may see my fellow homos parading in fabulous tights, lip synching to the musical they finally got a part in or riding on a wobbly giant flamingo may become sufficiently offended to, perhaps, take away NBCs license. Who knows, we're in uncharted territory.

There’s so much corporate money and advertising flowing through the veins of this flouncy beast of an event, they’re probably not gonna touch it, but keep an eye on this one. Queeny Cole Escola got on TV for like 30 seconds, so that’s a win.

NBC’s coverage is the only one that counts. In some lost book of the bible I know in my heart there’s a verse that declares all other network coverage as the work of demons. Do not listen to them, do not watch other networks. They are lying. They are fake. NBC owns rightfully owns this through a long standing licensing agreement with Macy’s and that, in America is sacred, I dare say Anointed.

Boyfriend says Big Bird looks distressed. Maybe they’re pooping in the costume?

A side note- Al Roker suffers from a debilitating blood clot condition. A little pocket research gives me reason to speculate his walking down the street in the rain is a miracle of the blood thinner apixaban. Bless you Al Roker, you are a f’ing steamroller, and a champion in your wellingtons and rain-hat.

When it’s raining, like it is this year, they keep the balloons low which is cool because you can see how they’re put together, how baggy and cheap they look, but I’m sure they’re like soooo expensive.

Also, when it’s raining, whoever is hosting can’t help but scowl. No actorly smile will ever hide the bitterness under all that foundation. Ladies, there WILL be a warm bathrobe and juicy Italian wine out of a bottle with a pretty label later, so hang in there. America loves you.

The Outsiders MUSICAL!!! The Outsiders didn’t make me gay but the book and movie formed a framework for my dating habits that got me in a lot of trouble when I was in my twenties. I’ll need another Irish Cream to expound, but, girl there are STORIES.

OMG- a dirty ringer t-shirt and a denim jacket. Someone! Smelling salts! I’m faaaainting!

Who the hell are The Temptations in 2024 and why the f*ck are they on the Wonder Bread float!? Anyone?

The real heroes of this whole thing? The damn marching bands- tough as nails, these kids are. Wet in bulky polyester, huffing through overly complex arrangements, buzzing through heavy flugelhorns-the opening act to your waldorf salad and squash casserole.

These are baby saints- honor them and someone please make sure these kids have the run of some decent hotel near La Guardia and are at least getting some kind of turkey dinner thing today.

If you’ve read this far- HAHAHAHA I”M GETTING DRUNKER AND DRUNKER!!! I love you!

Everything is exactly what it is. It’s not where I think it should be but, whatever, there’s a good chance we’’re gonna be fine- or not, Anyway. This shit is gold, and I’m having fun right now, with patient boyfriend, breakfast and cats. He’s feeding them homeopathic bits of bacon as they surround him in a little pack on the couch. I hope you’re able to do something cool too.

And thank you for being you.